Beauty

Those of you that follow the rock music scene are probably aware of the Loudwire facebook page or their website to read all about music gossip. Recently one of my Rock Wife friends alerted me to their new and editorial style articles showcasing the hot wives of rock music. I just want to extend my condolences to the guy who decides who the "Hottest Rock Wives" are because you sir, are an idiot.

Loudwire link to a good laugh

All of us Real Rock Star Wives have seen your articles and I feel the overwhelming responsibility to be the one to call your bluff and say shenanigans.

I read this on the link above: (I promise I'm not making this up...see for yourself)
    "Just about every male musician would like a hot chick on their arm (among other things), but these women possess more than just the ability to inspire the engorgement of a gentleman’s custard launcher. These rocker wives have tamed some of the most unruly musicians, bared their children and possess the strength to be away from their loved ones for months at a time."

...and I think to myself. "You, are an epic douche bag and us wives think you need a healthy shiner courtesy of my kids' soccer spikes and my ridiculously long arm reach ."

 I have news for you, we ALL possess more than the ability to (how did you put it again?) "inspire the engorgement of a gentleman's custard launcher".  But thank you for making it clear you don't understand anything about women, relationships or musicians for that matter. Bravo dumb ass...bravo.

Now, as I rant into the internet universe, don't think I'm sitting at home in my yoga pants, eating chocolate while sobbing over my snub, because I'm not. Well, the yoga pants and chocolate thing is totally true, but sobbing only happens when my husband is playing a show 200 miles away and I can't afford the gas or hotel to go see him.
Right now I am laughing. I'm just wondering how one can write up such BS and get away with it? This is why I call shenanigans.

All of these articles leave me to wonder the following:
How can you evaluate hotness? How do you decide who's hotter than someone else? Who is the boss of the rock wife hottie charts? Are they the same A&R people who decide which songs to hack up, over produce and essentially cut the artists entirely out of publishing?  I think I am on to something here...

This topic is EXACTLY why I left modeling. One week I was hot, the next I was being told I needed to get my tooth fixed and a nose job. Thankfully, I was smart enough to get out before I listened to the beauty-industry whack jobs. My nose, face and well everything on me is God given and unaltered, and I am thankful I didn't fall into the trap of modification for societal acceptance.
I know, I know, you all are giggling as you realize that yet another musician married himself a model. I get it, and I guess in some sort of ridiculous way, I laugh at it myself. Aaron and I are the labelized stereotype, but we aren't the living stereotype...this I assure you.

So what is it going to take for people to understand that The Rock Wife isn't someone to be exploited and rated?  I'm not entirely certain, but I will say that I feel compelled to do something not many Rock Star wives are willing to do. I'm going to prove that what others think of you doesn't matter...

The image you see below is of the day I decided to start writing my book "The Real Rock Star Wives Handbook". Nothing kicks you in the ass harder than the realization that at any time you will run out of time.
I used to be careful about what I said and made sure not to "Upset the balance of the Rock Life Image". I don't think about life so foolishly any more.

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I now swan dive into the world with the in-your-face no bull attitude that has become my trademark. Ask any of the rock wives that know me. I am confident they will all say, "That potty mouthed albino Sasquatch tells it like it is". I'm also confident that my brothers in rock will say the same.

So, here you go.

The rules to allow yourself the freedom to not "feel" judged in the music industry.

1.) Make fun of yourself. Because, you're a real person and people need to see that. (Also...chocolate facial masks are awesome...because it's chocolate)

2.) Make fun of others because you can successfully make fun of yourself.  And in the music industry, you need to make fun of everyone else.

3.) Show people in the Music Industry you are watching and you mean business.

4.)  Don't try to look perfect in photos with fans. You always have to live up to that perfect pose. This style is much more memorable and highlights your personality. (*Photo-bomb at every opportunity*)

5.) Show your kids that it's cool to rock...but tell them "When you grow up....get a real job".

6.) Don't take yourself so seriously. Laughing is medicine.

6.) Support the hell out of your man. Because he's your everything.

7.) Show up to your friends' rock shows in yoga pants, a tank top and a baseball cap. Bring a grill and food.  Because who cares what the other people think and you cook good. And...being the "Band Mom" is so much cooler than being the girl who worries about if she broke her nail or her outfit matches. (DC is short...HAH!)

Well, there you go. Now go ahead and ask yourself, "Why is it that we need to take appearances so seriously?"   

Maybe I see things differently because of the whole 5 year long tumor-illness "thing" but correct me if I'm wrong in asking, "Why does a Rock Wife need to impress everyone she encounters with her appearance?" 

They say first impressions are everything, but I don't think the first few seconds will even give you a strobe light flash of who I am or who any of us are for that matter.  The Rock Star wife has lived a crazy up and down life all while being judged by every chick in that arena screaming for her husband. 

After all these years I can honestly say, "Look in the mirrors people. You have no idea."

We can't be your definition of beauty all of the time, but we are beauty in the eyes of our husbands who give the world the gift of love songs, and that my friends is all that matters.

And yes...I clean up when I want to. But most of the time, my yoga pants, tank top and baseball cap will do.  You get the idea.

So, Loudwire...you can go ahead and kiss my Polish arse, you wouldn't know beauty if it hit you driving a semi truck at 80 mph. 
Speaking of...I need to get my CDL renewed and also, please send me your office address.

-Jillian Rock- Copyright 2013