The Rules

I am honestly humbled and thankful right now.  My letter to "The Fans" has officially went "Viral".

My next post was already written, but I felt compelled to change it after the events of the last 24 hours.
As I sat watching the stats page climb to 50 then to 800, I smiled. When it passed 2000, I thought "Wow!"
And now, as I write this, I watch the stats climbing higher than the population of the county we live in.  I am blown away and grateful that so many have chosen to share the idea that a "farm girl wife" of a "signed rock musician" might have something worth while to read and discuss.
I thank all of you. Truly.

Now, comes the hard part.
How do I live up to the hype of something so well received and shared? How do I top it? How do I wrap my Midwestern farm girl mind around the fact that for the first time in my married life, I have stepped out of the shadows and allowed myself to walk out of the fence line of my farm and let others judge what I have to say?
The answer, I realize, is that I can't allow any of that to matter.
I'm still the same rough around the edges, 6'1", cancer surviving, tattoo covered, tractor driving, gun shooting, potty mouthed, highly educated, mother of two and music wife that I was yesterday.
I just have a few more people listening to me than on Monday.

No pressure.

This is where I begin the next of many posts on the Real Rock Star Wives Blog.
My hope in the near future is to write as much as I can as an insider in the music industry and also hand over the pen to some of my closest friends and fellow Rock Wives.
There are many of us and we aren't what you perceive. In fact, once you get to know us, I believe you'll finally appreciate the music you take for granted.
Because, without us supportive wives back home handling every detail of our lives and those of our touring husbands, things would fall apart faster than edible underwear in a wet tee shirt competition. Seriously.

I remember the moment I decided to start writing something I felt was important. I was sitting in a hospital 2600 miles away from my husband who was in agony and living in regret as he went from show to show on the Papa Roach tour. What is expected from those in the spotlight is often unseen and the every day life struggles are unlikely to be respected by those who chose not to.
I had this crazy idea shoot through my head as I sat in the infusion chair at the hospital of  how THIS was the "real" rock star life that no one gets to see.  It was time.

I began writing down ideas, stories, and commentary to real events as they happened on the road. I shared it with a few of my music friends and they loved it. I was flattered, but hadn't yet accepted the fact that maybe I should take this writing thing seriously.
It wasn't until my best friend Jenn encouraged me to take the leap and just do it. Even though she is only 5'1", 95 lbs soaking wet, and Canadian, she packs a punch...and I respect her. Go figure, she's a Rock wife herself.

Writing came naturally, but I wasn't sure if the subject would be well received. Would anyone care about a somewhat normal Midwestern girl's rants? Would I be crucified by not going the traditional route of keeping-my-damned-mouth-shut?
I mean, come on, all of us wives have seen this and if you haven't thought of re-writing it with the truth, you are a damned liar!

So, that's what I did today.

Enjoy....and for those with small screens.

Here you go!

1. DON’T TRY TO CHANGE HIM
    He’s a musician. There are centuries of stories proving that you can’t change them. If you think you can, you haven’t learned anything about psychology, history or  life in general. My assumption is that it won’t last that long anyway. Good luck.

2. GET A JOB
    If you think you don’t need one, well...show me the rock you’ve been living under and I will show you the bottom of my size 12 shoe as it hits you in the face. The days of endless money rolling in are what us that live in the music industry call a “Fairy Tale”. Grow up.

3.  GROW A THICK SKIN AND A SET OF BALLS WHILE YOUR AT IT
    You will be judged, groupies/bus chasers will try to stare you down, Affliction tee shirt wearing douche bags attending the show will assume you are “easy”, and your parents will think you’re an idiot. Learn to let it go or lay in bed all day sobbing in the fetal position.

4. ACCEPT THE FACT YOU WILL HAVE TO CLEAN UP VOMIT, SHIT, AND DISGUSTING LAUNDRY.
    You will have your personal space invaded by a bunch of smelly drunks, they will eat all of your food, drink all of your beer, use all of your hot water, and will plug your toilet. The tour bus will always make stops at your house...not just your husbands bus, but all of them.  You will find unpleasant things in your washing machine and you will have to clean it up after those bastards leave. Just pretend they are just an 8th grade football team...it makes it less painful as you plunge the clog.

5. TAKE UP KICK BOXING
    I started with Yoga, but realized in order to save the lives of the other band members I found that I needed a much more aggressive form of anger management therapy. You will want to kill the rest of the band from time to time, but you have kids and can’t go to jail.

7. WATCH RERUNS OF MACGUYVER AND TAKE NOTES
    Whatever the label/Management tells you...don’t count on it. Or just do what I do and pretend they just got done snorting a line of coke before they spoke to your husband and will forget in 10 minutes. You will never get paid on time, don’t expect that tour to come through and expect all payouts to be 50% less than quoted. Learn to fix things on the fly and how far you can drive with your gas tank on E. Get innovative or starve. Survival of the fittest bitches.

9.  UNDERSTAND THEIR SLEEP SCHEDULE AND RESPECT IT
    If you don’t understand this, you shouldn’t be married to a musician anyway...so I won’t even try to explain it.

10. USE THE BLOCK OPTION ON FACEBOOK...OFTEN
    Remove one more stressor from your life and just block them or stay off social media. Facebook stalking will only cause the rest of us to look at you for the moron that you are.  Sorry, lots of “chicks” think your husband is desirable. Stop making yourself crazy and remove the element entirely.

12. REALIZE THAT “NEWBIE” WIVES ARE GOING TO NEED THIS LIST.
            SEND IT TO THEM. OR, BE READY TO DEAL WITH THEIR DRAMA LATER.

Until next time...much Love, Respect, and Support!

Jillian Rock